My trip to Disneyland

Ahhh it has been a few days since I have written so today I will do just that. My family and I just returned from Disneyland, which just happens to be my most favorite place on the whole planet. Now Disneyland is a little bit of a sinful place as well for the weak dieter, let me explain. They have this little red cart that is right in between Main Street and the Carnation Restaurant, in beautiful bold gold letters you see the words....Corn Dogs. Now I know what you are thinking...a corn dog is not that tempting. I will tell you that if you are thinking this you have not had one of these corn dogs!! This tempting yummy golden treat is the best corn dog I have eaten in my whole life ,and I am not a fan of the corn dog but these would bring you to your knees. They are about 10 inches long, deep fried, fat and they are great. I was strong and only had one bite of daughters and then I was done. That was a big accomplishment for me.

I will share with you what helped me a little while I was there. I looked around at all the different shapes and sizes of people while I was there. I thought as I looked at different women I would love to be that thin..or she a good size even if I could get down around there, I would be OK with that, but what was a the real eye opener was this, as we exited the Winnie the Pooh ride I saw a beautiful lady, her make up was fancy and her hair was done cute, she was probably in her late 50's, she was in a motorized cart because she was so heavy that she could not walk the grounds with her children and her grandchildren. I thought to my self that if I did not get a handle on this weight issue of mine I would end up just like her. I had joked earlier with my husband that my feet hurt so bad and my legs and ankles were so swollen that I wished I had a little pixie dust to sprinkle on them to help to make them hurt less and feel litter on my feet.

There is no pixie dust only my power to gain control of my life I thought and so I continued to be good even on my trip. I did snitch a bit but I did eat my last ding dong in the happiest place on earth. Kind of fitting don't you think?

My goal this week it to make it to the gym at least 2 times and exercise at least 5 days this week. I will work on my treadmill, and also my stationary bike. My goal also this week is 3 lbs

OK so I am off to a rough start but a start at least. Today I exercised and ran and walked 2 miles. It took me a little bit of time 38 min approx but it is better then not at all. I did have 2 cookies this morning though and a diet mountain dew with a piece of toast.

For lunch I will have a yummy diet dinner and try to drink as much water as I can to help with the urge to eat the ding dongs in the pantry or the yummy golden potato chips that are there. I did buy baked chips they are OK...but not the same...I just have to keep going...RIGHT?

Today is the first day of the year 2010, and as a tradition I always think to myself that I am going to do it this time...you know lose the weight that I have unfortunately gained over the last 16 years. Oh I start out doing great for the first 15 minutes but then the cold icy Pepsi that is waiting sinfully in the fridge begins to call my name, and the ding dong that is lurking in the pantry wrapped ever so beautifully in that shiny tinfoil softly whispers..." I would taste so much better if only you would eat me while you enjoy your Pepsi", being weak I go ahead and enjoy them both.

Now that is just one example and silly at that I am sure you are thinking but I will tell you this, that food is sinful to me. I love it. It is not always about the amount that I eat but mostly about what I like to eat. I enjoy veggies and also fruit and eat those also, it is the sugar that every morning I head for on my swollen tired feet, step by step by step just a few more I think and then I reach the kitchen and with foggy tired eyes I know right where to reach for that sweet candy that melts in my mouth makes me happy and helps extinguish my morning breathe..or so I think. Then to the fridge or to the garage and get me a Pepsi, I need it I think because I am so tired the caffeine will help me through, I love the first burn as the cold Pepsi hits my tongue and goes down my throat...."Ahhhhh" I say and with the crack of the can and my expression of being pleased by my beverage my children know it is time to get out of bed and start getting ready for school.

I watch the Biggest Loser and think to myself, I need to go on that show. I would love Bob to show me the way, or I could take on Jillian, I would show her, I would exercise so hard and I would win all that prize money, and buy a whole new wardrobe, take a nice vacation some place I could show off my body in a bikini. I say to my husband lets make a tape I could win I just need some help, he agrees but then life happens and we get busy and I second guess myself and think well I could not leave my family for that long, I can do it here, yes here in my own home with my treadmill that gathers dust and my stationary bike that my 3 year old has drawn on, tomorrow is the day. I have said that a million times and a lot of tomorrows have come and gone but today as I watched another rerun of the biggest loser and watched them all losing weight and crying all over each other I thought...I wonder if I blogged it, yes that will commit me like on the movie Julie and Julia...I will blog my journey and commit this time and maybe someone along the way will be inspired to do this with me.

I commit this day to start, I will get up in the morning and start my exercise program and eating well and I will blog my progress. I will gain power over myself and find the person that I once was. I recently started an account on facebook, in facebook you need to put a profile picture of yourself so that your friends can find you and recognize you, I took several pictures of myself before I found one that was ok...I was embarrased at my double chin and fluffy figure I did not want anyone who once knew the 125lb I have gained but I will slowly lose that just wait and see...and in the famous words of Peter Pan....."Here we go!"